For the past 40 days we Catholics have been observing Lent. The Lenten Season leads up to Good Friday which is the day that Jesus, our Savior, was brutally murdered by way of being nailed to a cross in mockery of what he was graciously doing for all of us, whether we were grateful or not. Such an unselfish act.
On Good Friday I often try to put myself in the sandals of the Virgin Mary. Although she was many things to many people, on this day she was a mother. “THE” mother of all time. I sit in church and wonder what she must have gone through as she watched on in horror. What could she have done? How could she allow this to happen without trying to “save” her son? How can she just let things be as they were intended? God chose the right woman. I truly believe there was never before and never will be again, a mother such as Mary. Her courage and ability to not let her pain interfere with God’s plan makes her the most unselfish person of all time. Jesus gave his life….but Mary gave her son’s life when she would have gladly traded places with him if it would have been allowed. My heart aches every time I think of it. The pain must have been unbearable to the point of wanting to die right alongside her precious son but was cruelly forced to live her life without him. I am sure she would have welcomed death. The love of a mother for her son is one of the most powerful feelings in the world. This is a fact I know all too well.
Our son came home for Easter like he has every single year since he left for college. This is not “my” holiday but his father’s. (My “must have” is Christmas Eve!) It is a family tradition for the men and boys in the Mynarcik family to celebrate Good Friday by going to a fishing spot and hanging out together, drinking, eating and telling crazy stories of the years past. The once small circle of men has grown in size to allow room for treasured friends and extended family. The next two days we just relax and enjoy each other’s company. Then in a blink of an eye we have to say good-bye again.
As we are standing at the glass partition in the airport that separates us from our son, we cannot speak. My husband moves closer to the glass as if this will somehow relieve the pain of seeing him go. My daughter, who is heartbroken and sobbing because her only brother is leaving again, is standing halfway between me, who is standing all the way in the back so my son cannot see my tears, and her father who is still watching his only son go through the customs line. And then our son turns one last time and waves goodbye...then he is gone.
As we all turn away to silently walk to the car, I glance at my husband who is now so heartbroken he cannot stop the tears. I see his shoulders shake with silent sobs. I have stood by and watched the scene unfold. Even though I am aching with sadness and would give almost anything to have him stay, I know that is not as it was intended. Like Mary, no matter how much it hurts to watch him get on that plane, I cannot interfere with what was meant to be. Our son is living his own life and that life has taken him far away from “home”. Hopefully one day he will choose to move back to Texas but until then we must do the hardest thing any parents can do and unselfishly stand by and let him go.
Our son texted the second he got on the plane and said he will miss us and loves us. Through my tears I texted back and told him that his leaving gets harder and harder on his father as the years pass. To make light of the situation I told him I did not know if this was due to his age or having to be stuck alone with Raychel and me. My son’s reply: “I do believe it is a little of both!” What a smart aleck….God, I miss him!
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