Even when my heart was broken in a thousand pieces, I held firm to my belief that God has a plan. I may not agree with it and I have questioned it so many times I should be ashamed but in the end I come to the same conclusion. He is in control. He knows what we do not. He loves us and would never want to harm us.
And then there was Feryn and Hailey.
Feryn is a beautiful, bright, wide eyed little girl who has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Gangiloneuroblastoma. Her life has been turned upside down. She is strong, courageous and determined to fight this evil that wants to take over her little body. Hundreds of people pray for her daily. We have become prayer warriors and keep believing God is good and kind and has this under control. We are afraid to ask why for fear he will not intervene. We blindly trust that His plan will be what is best for all of us. While she is fighting there is hope, right? This can all be okay! Pray, pray, pray and pray some more. And we will continue to pray as she takes this difficult journey.
Hailey is a gorgeous teenager who went to school with Raychel. I do not have all the facts and dates and details but this young lady was diagnosed with a brain tumor about three years ago. She has been fighting for her life ever since. Again, hundreds prayed daily for her cure. We knew God had this under control. We knew that He had a plan. This brave and courageous soul fought with everything that she had and today......................God took her anyway.
And today, I questioned his plan. I felt that maybe he is not in control. How can he love us? How can he be our Father of the most high and let us feel so much pain? How can he leave a mother without her child? How can he allow a child to suffer every single day fighting to keep the one gift He gave them; Life? I wanted Him to explain. I wanted Him to tell me NOW how he could let this happen!
And then it hit me. Hailey was not ours to keep. She is His child first. He sent her here and trusted in her spirit to teach this small town compassion. He knew that in her short life she would teach many how to be brave and caring and kind to one another. She would bring a cause for all of us to come together and put aside our differences and pray for the well being of one family. She would leave a mark on this town that will stay with us forever. He let us borrow her for awhile and then needed her back home.
While my heart aches for her family I fall to my knees and thank them for sharing Hailey with us. I pray that God hold them tightly to his chest and tells them thank you for taking such good care of his child. I pray that the knowledge that God will take care of her until they meet again will bring them a small bit of comfort. And while there are no words that I can ever type that will take away their pain, I hope that they know that we all share that pain with them today.
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