I promised God to love my children with all that I am and I truly do. I would give up my own life for them. But sometimes it is truly hard to like them. I used to be embarrassed to admit this. The older I get the easier the words "I really don't like you right now!" flow from my mouth. The first time I said it out loud I believe my daughter stopped in her tracks and stared at me. I could see those little wheels working in her head. "Did my mother just say she did not like me???!!" I saw the puzzled look on her face so I repeated it.....twice!(Evil grin)
Thankfully my feelings come in stages. The first year is when they are about 10. Seriously, it is hard to like a ten year old. They are inquisitive know it alls. They are trying to find a niche for themselves before Junior High which makes them bossy and mouthy and they are so very messy! While my heart is overflowing with love, the rest of me wants to kick them out of my "inner circle". Then God finds it in his heart to allow them to become more pleasant for a couple of years and then they hit 13. Anyone with a 13 year old knows what I am talking about. One moment they are so grown up and fun to socialize with and you even find yourself wanting to "hang out" with them. Then while you are mid sentence, a light switches off in the brain and you find yourself talking to a moody teenager who can not remember what you told them three seconds ago let alone follow instructions for the day. When you question them about anything their voice goes up five octaves and they are truly offended that you would dare speak to them. This is when loving them is hard, let alone liking the little monsters. This stage lasts pretty much until they graduate High School. I do believe it is God's plan to make them so unlikeable it is easier to say goodbye when they head off to college and a life of thier own.
When they are grown and have become the adults you intended them to be you are truly in awe of how charming and funny and likable they are. You want to spend time with them. You even beg them to come see you so you can be with them. You like them so much, you would do anything to welcome them back into that precious inner circle.........then one day you hear "Mom I truly love you, but I really don't like you right now!".
God has a quirky sense of humor.
