Not carrying old baggage into the new year....

As I sit and think about the things that happened in 2014 I am left with mixed feelings. We said goodbye to loved ones, welcomed a new grandson into the fold and tried to keep in touch with family and friends as we rushed through our busy lives. I think back on the list of things I intended to accomplish and realize that the list changed as the months passed. I feel heavy with baggage left unpacked. I am hopeful for a lighter load and new beginnings in 2015. But how do we let go of the things we carry forward? How do we scratch the tasks undone off the list to make room for exciting new ones? I have few regrets but those that I do have are painful. I have many accomplishments to be thankful for but those regrets get in the way of allowing me to be truly happy over them. So, for 2015 I am making no resolutions. I am making no lists. However, I am taking all those regrets and placing them in my unpacked baggage and leaving them at the door. I am starting with a blank piece of paper. No worries, no regrets, no failures, no undone tasks and no heavy load. I am excited to see where God takes me. Happy New Year friends. May you all check your baggage at the door and have a safe slide into 2015.

Missing that "Christ"mas feeling.

It is a little past midnight, December 25. I have been preparing for this moment in time for at least 7 months. From Halloween to New Year it is my favorite time of the year and I love all the sparkle, baking, wrapping of gifts and the best part, giving. I love to give. I love to see the joy of my kids when they get something they would have never thought of getting for themselves. And this year was even more special since I got to enjoy the excitement with my 11 month old grandson. So what is wrong with me? Where is my deep soulful feeling of Christmas? Where is my true spirit of the season? I am looking over my Facebook feed and post after post is about the feeling of the season missing from the celebrations of others. Person after person posting " I just do not feel it", " I can barely get my gifts wrapped", "I didn't send out cards this year". Attending church Christmas Eve I kept waiting. I enjoyed it immensely. I loved the music, the message and the company. But I never did get that "feeling". I am being totally honest, I am worried for us all. This feeling or lack thereof can not be a coincidence. Something is missing this year. Is God trying to send us a message? As I type this my heart is heavy. I have so very much to be thankful for. I am blessed beyond measure. God has given me a life that is rich and full of love and laughter. God has ............that's it! God has given me, us, all of us the ultimate gift. There is nothing that can compare. Nothing that matters as much. Nothing that can be of more value. God has given us His one and only son and unless we focus on that one true gift, then everything else will be of no worth. That feeling of opening the most precious gift of all time can only come from celebrating the birth of Christ. No decorations, cards, lights or cookies can give you that inner peace of heart. Tomorrow the family is coming over for fellowship and making special memories. Knowing that God's blessing will be with us all guarantees a day filled with the joy of the season. Merry "Christ"mas my friends and may you all feel the true meaning of this glorious day.

Changing my life one push-up at a time.

The shutdown of your body comes slowly. One day you can no longer bend at the knees and get back up without grunting. Walking up the football stadium bleachers to the reserved seats you've had for 20 plus years feels like you ran a marathon (not that I would know firsthand, but I've heard about it) and getting up off the floor after playing with your grandchild or puppy is achieved by getting carpet burns from scooting on your knees to the nearest piece of sturdy furniture to pull yourself up. It is a sad day when you realize you have limitations and age and obesity have taken over your body. One would think that the moment this realization smacked me upside the head, I would do something about it....I did.....I told myself that this is what it is and I have to make the best of it. As the years passed I just kept "doing the best I can", or so I thought. I must admit that I have never been athletic. Sure, I was a cheerleader and walked everywhere as a teenager living in Germany but I never, ever exercised. I was on a running team in Germany and I would put on this adorable Adidas outfit, run into the forest, light a cigarette and wait it out. When enough time had passed I would sneak my way to exit from the forest and stumble back to school pretending to have run the entire practice route. We never competed. It was just a PE class. Am I ashamed of this? I should be but I'm not. A dear friend came to work for me and she is the annoying "exercise and fitness" freak. She gets up at the crack of dawn, goes to some boot camp, comes to work, goes home to ride 30 miles on her bike and on the weekends she runs marathons. She was truly getting on my nerves. The age difference between us became more and more evident as she talked of all her accomplishments. In my head I was saying "You just wait until you are in your fifties girly!" This is how I justified my aches and pains as I got out of my office chair to walk across the room. My diabetes numbers were slowly creeping back up and I never truly felt good. Even though I kept telling myself I could not change I started dieting and walking a couple miles a week. I felt accomplished. I lost 45 pounds and started walking more. I was now at a stage where I knew "this is as good as it gets". Then it happened...After a year of trying to convince me to at least try a boot camp (these conversations always ended with me rolling my eyes and muttering "that will never happen") my friend told me that the boot camp is in my area and that they were running a special and I could try it for a month for the measly price of $6. I pay that for a cup of coffee so I humored her and signed myself up. My friend Jennifer came with me to the first camp and I met the trainer Nicole. Even if you are in the best shape of your life, just looking at Nicole will humble you. She has .0001% body fat, muscles to put Arnold Schwarzennegger to shame, a smile that will brighten any room and the spunk to motivate even the most professional couch potato. THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD DO THIS!!! I will spare you the aches and pains detail and how I was so sick after my first workout I threw up and just say this. "I am a proud member of the Camp Gladiator team!" I have an entire group of amazing "family" that motivate me and encourage me to be better. They do not judge, make me feel bad if I physically cannot hang with them and pick me up when I am down. Nicole holds us all accountable by calling us out on social media if we miss a class.(I have never missed a class!) She also makes herself available 24/7 for each and every one of us. I am now 53 pounds lighter, ride my bike to and from camp, can get up off the ground by myself, can squat, plank and do a push up! Camp Gladiator has changed my life. It has offered me a new beginning and I am taking it! We are never too old, too fat, too weak or too uncoordinated. We just have to take the challenge and jump off that cliff. I promise you that Camp Gladiator will catch your fall. I am forever thankful. It is with great emotion that I say thank you to Jennifer for the push and encouragement and Nicole and my CG team for "Keeping it Real"! Wut! Wut!

A Step Back in Time with Lionel Richie

First and foremost I am NOT an idol worshiper. I enjoy great talent like the next person but I do not stand in lines begging for autographs, I do not scream when I see someone famous and I would never, ever pay for a concert to hear someone sing when I can listen at my leisure at home.....until now. My son and DIL surprised me with tickets to see my all time favorite, Lionel Richie. I could listen to his music "All Night Long" and even though I am happily married, I think he is one luscious chocolate lollipop. Even at the grand age of 65 he is Hawt, Hawt, Hawt. At first I was like...do I really want to fight the crowds and go see him in person? And then I decided that I would step out of my box and go to my first concert. I am not including the time that Alabama came to Killeen High School for a mini performance. I got to choose who I wanted to go with me to share this experience and I chose my hubby. He has been listening to Lionel for as long as I have and has grown to appreciate his music almost as much as I do. I fretted the entire months between my gift and the big night. We headed out early to go visit my son and his family and I got to get smoochies from my grandson Kade. Now if I was an idol worshiper it would be for him! He is just down right amazing. I read reviews of the venue and I was prepared for all the negative things that were mentioned. We took our time and got there well before the first act of Celo Green started. There was no crowd at the restroom, no long lines for drinks,no people falling all over each other, actually none of the things I read about were part of my experience. We made our way to our seats and even though my husband is very tall he had enough room to sit. The seats are very close together so you quickly become besties with the person beside you. Lionel still has it...there were people there from the age of 17-85. There were city slickers, country folk, people who spoke no English and those where it was evident they were groupies and followed him to every venue he travels to. Those were fun to watch! I knew I would go back down memory lane when Lionel actually started performing. I knew that I would know every word to every song. I did NOT know however, that when the firsts chord of "Just to be Close to You" echoed through the arena, I would weep. Yes, real tears streaming down my face. My Lionel was singing this song just for me. No one else was there. Just me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. This show was amazing and I am so grateful for the chance to experience it with my husband. I am still not a super fan or an idol worshiper. I did not buy a T-shirt or want his autograph, but I do feel that I am now personal friends with Mr. Richie. For a small space in time, I was not part of the older crowd following memories.....I was 15 again and making new memories to one day share with my children and grandchildren. Lionel Richie you are the best of the best. You make me want to dance "all Night Long" and I will love you "Always and Forever"!

Kade Joseph

From the moment you hold your first born in your arms you feel a love unlike anything you have every felt before. You immediately become superhuman and your only goal in life is to love, nurture and protect this little being from anything that may cause the slightest harm. You no longer think in terms of “I” or even “we” as a couple. Instead your thoughts are all about “him/her”. What does the baby need? What does he want? Will this be good for him? Will this hurt him? No decision, no matter how small, is made without this baby’s welfare in mind. It is a lifelong relationship that will change you forever. When the second child comes along, miraculously you have the ability to love him/her just as much as you did the first. How can this be? All you had to give was taken up already so where did this additional love come from? And just when you thought you could not love anything more than you love your children along comes your first grandchild. You know you are going to love them as much as you love your own children. You will have all the same desires to nurture and protect. You will be a grandparent but the parent in you will shine through as bright as the shining sun. Everyone tells you that you will feel a love that you have never known before and it will be so bountiful that you can not measure it. I thought I knew exactly what they were talking about..... ....And then Kade arrived. The love in my heart is unlike anything I have ever felt before or even could have imagined. It is the same love you have for your own children but magnified by 1000. I was overwhelmed with love for my son and daughter in law and so happy for them that they now have this angel to share their lives with. I was excited to see the face that would belong to the little boy who would call me Oma. I wept as I held his feet in my hands and caressed his fingers knowing these would be the hands that would help his Papa Louie build things and the feet that would run through our house when he comes to visit. Even now almost 8 weeks later, I can not get enough of looking at him and holding him and wanting everything in the world to be his. God gave us a heart to love our children but he built an extra door that only opens when you hold your grandchildren for the first time. Behind this door is a continuous outpour of so much love that it can not be contained or described by humanly words. It is like God has sent a part of himself to you so that you may get a glimpse of what heaven is like. Welcome to this world Kade Joseph. You are much loved.

Spring has arrived...

Spring is an exciting time of year. The weather usually gets warmer, trees are blooming, small creatures are raising their heads and songs of the birds fill the air. As a Catholic, Spring reminds me of Lent since we are smack dab in the middle of the Lenten season when the first day of Spring arrives. I never give it deep thought since I know spring is coming and I welcome it and I usually know what to expect. This year it has new meaning to me. These past few weeks have been heavy on the heart and soul of who I am. My family is trying to dig out of the winter of our lives and seek hope in the new beginnings Spring promises. We have had our share of the winter blahs by way of car wrecks, house floods, yard leaks, things needing repairs, heartaches and illnesses. We were waiting for a flash of light that reminds us that it will all be okay....and then today we awoke by the glorious light of the sun on a day known as "Spring" and I knew .....it will all be okay. I am reminded that is it time to do Spring Cleaning which usually means to clean out the closets, take the rugs outside and beat them, throw away all the things that bog you down or that have no place in your life anymore. Is it just a coincidence that this is also what we need to do with our hearts and souls during Lent? Isn't this what Lent is about; Cleansing the soul to be rid of the things that keep you from focusing on the true importance of the Easter season? Today as I start my cleaning out of sock drawers, hall closets and kitchen cabinets, I will purge my soul of things that have weighed me down. I will fill that void with prayer and thanks to God for his generous blessings. It will be a slow process and will probably take me until Easter weekend but I can assure you when I am doing my final chore of washing all the windows, not only will I see the light shining through the panes of glass but I will feel the warmth of the light He has placed within me. Enjoy the spring and know there is a much stronger light on the way.